Saturday, April 25, 2015

Missing bubba

As the days have passed the shock is wearing off and the sadness of life without bubba is beginning to set in. Anna has had a rough day and is trying to figure out how to handle the feelings she is having. One benefit of having loss be a part of our lives is even if I can't understand it, I have a way of explaining it. I told her it will get better. That some day she may want to look at pictures and and she might want her stuffed animals that look like bubba but, for today we won't look at them. Wyatt has been doing a little better - asking his usual 20 questions. Like is bubba wearing a dress? Does God play with the dogs? And how do we know our dog in Heaven if their body is in the ground and their soul is in Heaven? Yesterday he ate his cereal and put the bowl on the ground as he has everyday before that- he looked at me and said why did I do that? I told him because that is what you know, you always have bubba your milk. It is hard to get used to life without bubba. So many questions that I hope I have answered okay. 
As we walked back from McMullen's tonight it was a sad feeling. We are used to that little wagging tail and that long howl greeting us as we walk across the street. As we lie in bed there is a space where bubba should be. Sleeping without the weight of his sprawled out body keeping us warm and the licks of bedtime kisses seems surreal. Every night he would climb up on tj and give him a hug. He did that the night that he died. I am so glad tj got that last hug from him. 
So I guess for now each time we pull in the driveway or the mailman comes we will think of him. When we open the door and put our leg up so he won't run out, when we see a blanket on the couch or the sun come through the window. Just like I told anna for now these things will make us sad, but hopefully someday they will make us happy again. We miss you sweet boy- there will never be another dog like you.  #bestdogever

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