Tonight I have a heavy heart. One of my dear friends - the kind of friend who goes back so far you don't need to see or even talk to each other all of the time to hold them close to your heart- lost a baby. To say I feel for her is an understatement. I am so sad to think that someone who was already so in love with their little miracle has lost that chance. The chance to be a mommy to this new little one and the chance to know what it is like to not worry during pregnancy.
Miscarriage is a horrible thing. I know at the doctor they will tell you the statistics of "how common" it is and how many pregnancies end in miscarriage - I told my doctor well I don't give a shit about the statistics we are talking about my baby not the numbers.
Ten weeks is a long time. Two and a half months of planning and loving. It is heartbreaking. Especially when it is not just the pregnancy that took the planning, when you need to plan ahead with doctors and procedures to even get to the point of being pregnant it is so much more.
So I will say a prayer. I know there is hope for the future, but with that will come fear. As we all search for our Rainbow it is not without the sadness. Not without the camaraderie that comes along with this badge of honor. This new pain that brings us to a bigger sense of what matters in this world. Even when we thought we knew before. It changes us.
Sending love and prayers and hoping that in time hearts heal. I can say from experience that we do heal after loss. But, in that time it is so hard to see that you will ever feel okay, feel happy again. So I pray for patience and for understanding...and for Mommy and Mama.