Friday, January 23, 2015

Dear Sammi,

Tomorrow is the day. I am so excited to meet you. So in need of holding you and looking into your eyes.  Our bags are packed. Your seat in the car. The strain of your presence in my body near the point of me being ready to let go. I will admit I am scared. Not scared of giving birth. Not scared of sleepless nights. Just trying to cope with the waves of emotion that come along with welcoming you after the loss of your brother.  I am thankful for the 5 1/2 years between your births. I am thankful for the healing I have done in that time. I won't lie when I say that it has been a long road between finding out I was pregnant with you and getting to tomorrow. You are our miracle. Just like your older sister. As I lie in bed tonight I will pray for you. I will pray for myself that I have the peace and strength to enjoy each moment of your birth. I cannot tell you how much I want to hear you cry. I need to hear you cry. 24 hours from now you should be in my arms nestled snugglily. As I push you around tonight to make sure you are okay by feeling you move, I will poke you tomorrow and watch you breathe. Get ready baby girl- there are a whole lot of people waiting to meet you. Mommy loves you and I am definitely at the very top of that list. See you on the outside....

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