Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A week and 2 days...

We have made it a week and 2 days without Meech. It is still weird to look around and realize he is not here, but each day it is getting better. The message his Aunt sent me letting me know he was happy was a welcome surprise. Our house has changed so drastically and so quickly without him. Wyatt and I probably took his leaving the hardest- at least outwardly. Anna and TJ are so similar in how they show their emotion. Quietly- in their own time. Wy and I both let it out- crying, yelling, whatever it takes. 
His absence has made Anna and Wy even closer. They have spent most of their time together and seem to appreciate each other even more than before. They have helped one another to grieve and are helping each other go on. They have always been close, but seeing their care for one another through this hard time has been a blessing for me.
The timing of it all has been such a God send. As I sit and wait these final weeks for Sammi to arrive I am so thankful God sent Meech to me for the last year. I am not sure I could have made it through the fears and anxieties of this pregnancy without him as a happy little constant distraction. I didn't plan on doing anything to the nursery until after Sammi was born. But, the room reminded me so much of Meech that I needed it to change. Dad and Tj spent the weekend stripping wallpaper, painting, putting together the crib and hanging pictures. She went from not having a room to having a beautiful nursery. Meech being here helped me to survive this pregnancy, him leaving has helped me get ready for Sammi. The fear of loss makes everything different. I am proud of each little step I have taken to welcome Sammi. Now if she would just make her grand entrance we could put it all to good use. 

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