Wednesday, April 16, 2014


I am sure this post would be different if the system was different- but the system sucks. 
Foster care is not fun- it is awful. Workers change positions and advocates quit their jobs. While foster parents are expected to transport back and forth to visits, appointments, child care, food, diapers, wipes, hair care and so much more with the small stipend provided- whoever said people do foster care for the money is crazy. 
If anything as a foster parent I feel like the enemy. I am treated like I am a pain by caseworkers from the county and I am told what to do- not asked. I am the one providing 24 hour care yet I am the one they fail to contact. Our agency and ourselves one team member who no one else on the team seems to like. The low man on the totem pole who is treated as such.
I understand reunification is the game- but chance after chance after chance just doesn't seem like the "best interest". As I sit in the waiting room at visits I hear so many stories of kids in care for years- extension after extension - drug tests positive and no follow through - but just one more chance. 
I wanted to be able to do this- 
I wanted things to end with this baby with us forever. 
I know what we have done for him is great. 
I know he probably won't remember us.
I want what is best for him.
In his best interest.
Do I think this family is what is best? 
From what I know I do not. 
I do know from now on I will listen to my heart. 
I will be in court.
I will interact with his grandmother. 
I will do what I need to do for me - 
I will prepare my kids for him leaving before summer.
I will make sure they know that he is going to a safe happy place- even if I don't believe it myself. 
I will have faith that God is going to look out for him- because that is all I can do. 

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