I want her to be safe and healthy in my arms. I know we have passed the hurdles and problems that have taken our babies in the past, but the fear is still so present.
I am so happy to feel her move and kick and to watch my belly squirm around. These are the moments I know she is okay. It is the moments in between those that bring the fear.
I have been blessed with a nurse practitioner who has let me come in 20 extra times to hear a heartbeat and has scheduled numerous ultrasounds. These things have helped the time pass with a little less worry. Anna and Wy's excitement and of course Meech and all of the chaos he has with him have been a blessing, bringing distraction away from my fears. As a baby loss mom fear is a thing we have to deal with, a way of life after loss. Having loved and lost there is no way around it.
So as the next 4 weeks pass I pray for this child. As I have for the past 8 months. I pray for her health and her safety.
I pray she comes sooner rather than later, so I can see this little face in person really soon.