Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Nine Months

There was a time in my life where I would keep things quiet- afraid that if I said something I could "jinx" a situation.  After living this life I no longer feel that way.  Adoption is a long process.  It is a lot like pregnancy in so many ways.  It is scary, there are many unknowns and you have very little control over any of it! One way that it doesn't compare is that it doesn't physically show. 
We have had our home study active again for 9 months.  We have updated everything needed, redone some paper work, had visits with workers etc.  For 9 months I have been looking - searching- just like I did for Wy.  We have wanted to add another child to our family and I know in adoption being proactive can help~ Wyatt is proof positive of that one.  Nine months later - although I am not "showing" we are praying that we can add a little one soon. 
In pregnancy there is this "fear" that if you tell someone too early and you miscarry then you have to tell them about the loss and so on.  After experiencing loss in many different ways I have come to realize that if you don't tell people that you are expecting, how can you expect them to even try and understand your grief in loss - or your happiness and joy in your pregnancy.  How can they understand why you are acting the way you are if you do not let them in, to know why you are acting this way - feeling this way- distracted this way-
I feel the same way about adoption.  A few years ago I kept it quiet about Wy.  It was also only about a month between the time I found him and we were matched with him, so that could be part of the reason behind that one~ This time after months of searching I found a little girl. 
We had our home study submitted on March 5.  A few weeks later we had a phone interview with one of the workers in her County (she is from another Ohio county).  Then last week her worker and the match coordinator came to our home for an "interview".  This was a chance for them to get to see our home, our family and where we live.  We were told that day that we were one of the 5 families chose to go to "match committee".  This is where the families worker "presents" them to a panel of people looking out for the best interest of the child - they then decide which family will be chosen for the placement. 
Today I found out that day is May 6. We will be presented by our worker at 3pm.  So It will be 2 months and 1 day since I saw this little one's face - since I welcomed her into my heart - that we find out if she will be a part of our family. 
It is still all unknown.  It is still really up in the air and it is going to be a really long 11 days.  But, we are praying that in the end of these 11 days we get some great news.  After meeting the workers I have no doubt that they will find the best place for this little one to grow up. 

In case you are wondering about the time - steps involved here is a link to HC website- it shows the steps - ours were similar, a little different because of a different county- but basically the same.

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