When I got the phone call today I was sitting in carpool at school. I had to get out to go get Anna and Corey - so I couldn't just sit and cry . But what do you say? What can you say? There is nothing- I was mad. I was upset. I feel like it isn't fair. I usually never say that because I am well aware of how blessed we are- but after all of this time waiting- 2 months, otherwise known as 8 weeks - 60 days of waiting- I imagine 2 weeks ago when they met the family they chose that they knew then- so why make the rest of us wait? We will never know. I am sad for our kids, who knew because they were involved in the process when the workers came to the house, I am sad for my husband who is incredibly accepting and tries not to get too emotionally invested-yet he is a wonderful Daddy and comes by that naturally. I am sad for my parents and in laws, our sister's who have watched us be so hopeful and had the same hope and now watch us fill with sadness and disappointment. I am sad for myself- because I am a damn good mom and I want to be able to have another child in my life. We did all that we could and I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
So where do we go from here - I guess we will just have to wait and see
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Thank you for the prayers, the support and the love -
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.