Tuesday, July 3, 2012

I plan on spelling it out....

Well Today was a day.  It seems my post has sent hell fire flying.  Maybe sometimes I am too blunt.  But, from what I understood that is what blogging was.  Being able to write my feelings and release my fears in print.  I posted a post the other day about my day.  About the things that stood out and the fear my family felt.  I understand that things can be misconstrued and misunderstood.  To be honest I had no idea that some people even read this blog.  The thing about my post was that it wasn't about anyone or anything but the love in my heart for my family and keeping them safe. I didn't conspire with anyone before posting it.  I didn't ask for anyone's permission about how I was feeling.  In fact I write things as I perceive them.  Which has nothing to do with how anyone else may see the situation. 
I have said it before and I will say it a million times over.  There is a different level of love when you have lost someone.  Anyone who has had a significant loss in their lives seems to know this.  Especially those who have lost a child.  There is a different level of emotion in general.  There is a different level of fear.  I am not saying that people love their family less than I do, I am saying that it is on a different level.  There are different emotions that they have never experienced.  When I write I let it flow. I type as it comes to my head and I don't think too far into it.  I am not writing for the New York Times, I am writing for me.
There are very few things in my life that I regret, writing the post at hand will not be one of them.  I am sorry about how personally it was taken, I am sorry about the absolute ridiculousness that came from it...especially at a time that my family is in turmoil.  When this is the last thing we need.
As all of this "crap" was happening Corey was taken back to the hospital.  He was still not doing well and had us very scared.  After some meds and a few hours he should be released tonight.  That should have been our only concern....and to be honest it really was.
As for my blog.  I know many people who have stopped blogging or changed their format.  Not me.  Sometimes life sucks and sometimes life is great.  I plan on spelling it out....

1 comment:

  1. You are right people who havent walked our paths just dont get the "FEAR" part. I had a good friend who told me a story about how after her son died another family member wanted to take her children to KI and she asked them to weigh, measure, take pictures and put them in bright color shirts before leaving. Now some people reading that might be thinking WTH thats CRAZY.. but me, I GET IT!! Its hard to not have that feeling it started the first day back from the hospital and hasnt left :(
    I wish no one had to go through this you shouldnt have to explain EVER how you feel.
    So sorry babe

    ps your trip looked amazing we are planning ours for next year now :)