Happy Birthday Connor

It is here...I have made it. Two years. If you had told me Two years ago that I would be where I am I may not have believed you. Two years ago today I held my son. I changed his clothes. I kissed his face. Today at some point two years ago, my son went from thriving inside of my body to going to be with God. I am not sure when he passed, some time before delivery. I guess that part doesn't really matter now. I have to admit there are a few things I regret not doing. They are so silly, but still, I wish I had bitten his fingernails. I love to bite my babies fingernails and his were so long. I also never changed his diaper, not that he needed it changed, but I would have liked to have had that little memory. I wish I would have had a picture of Anna holding him, but she wasn't ready to do that on that day. I sometimes forget how little she was when we went through these things....she had just turned 3, a baby herself. Those are the few things I wish I had done differently, in the big vast scheme of things they are so remote, but even still I wish I had them!
As for today, I started off the day by going to buy Wyatt a Big Brother shirt since he is Connor's Big Brother. Then I went to get plates and napkins for Connor's party. I chose Cars for him. I figure Wyatt likes cars and our little friend Aiden, who is almost 2, loves Cars....so Connor would too. Mom and Dad are picking him up a cake and we are heading out to make his Build a Bear in a little while. We are also making our donation to Children's today from Emma and Connor's Snuggle Buddies. We have collected so many toys and blankets for the babies in the NICU. After we drop them off we plan on heading to the cemetery to sing Happy Birthday and decorate Connor's stone. These are the birthday plans in the life of a family who has lost a child....not exactly how we plan to celebrate our child's birth, but so happy we are able to do this as a family. I will post pictures tomorrow of our celebration....