Wherever he may be...

Sometimes it hits you like a slap in the face. 

You are in a stride. 

Doing so well and not thinking about what could have been and then ... 

BAM 

It hits you. 

The only thing I can count it as is grief. 

The should of beens. 

The could of beens. 

Reminders and memories.

Seeing every child his age and wondering how big he would be.

The only difference is as I look around I have an ounce of hope. 

I have an ounce of fear. 

That one of these kids is him. 

After 6 months of healing. 

After 6 months of trying to forget.

Sometimes the sting of what might have been creeps in. 

We are so lucky.

So very blessed. 

So happy with the amazing little hands we have to hold. 

But, every once in awhile that sting catches me off guard. 

I am reminded of where we were last year. 

Where we might have been if things had been different. 

As I kiss the little foreheads of each of my kids tonight, I will send my extra little kiss and prayer Meech....

Wherever he may be.