Monday, December 19, 2011

A different way of viewing things...

I haven't posted in awhile and today I read an article that made me so angry I simply had to write! I will admit that I love to watch "19 kids and counting" I think they are an incredible family and Anna and I watch them together all of the time. I feel like we have a vested interest in their family, so we feel like we know them! When Michelle became pregnant with her 20th child I remember thinking how can she have 20 healthy pregnancies and I can't have 2! After their youngest daughter was born severely premature I thought it was risky to get pregnant again, but even after a miscarriage and 2 babies with fatal defects, I still think I would want to be pregnant again sometimes, so I am no one to judge. When I found out they lost their baby at 21 weeks my heart broke for them. Emma was 21 weeks when she was born still. As I was feeling sad for this family and knowing exactly the pain they were feeling I was so happy to hear they had Now I lay Me Down to Sleep come and take pictures for them. This is the organization that took pictures of Connor. This is the organization that sent a now very dear friend of ours to take amazing beautiful and artistic pictures to help capture the only day we ever spent with our son. One of my biggest regrets is that I did not do the same for Emma, that I don't have any pictures of her besides an ultrasound picture.
Today I saw an article with a link to the Dugger's pictures of their daughter, they actually had the image blurred and a warning on the page to view the pictures. They were of her tiny feet and hands. How is this vulgar or graphic in anyway. In the baby loss community this is something we are proud of, thankful for, and that we show proudly. I have many friends in this community who have posted pictures of their babies at earlier gestation than "Jubilee" was and they are still beautiful. I wonder what they would think of our Anen babies with their defects, or the child born with a skin condition who is scarred and bloody at every point of his day. These are our children. They are beautiful to all who love them. I understand that different people have different views on things. That years ago I would have had completely different thoughts than I do today with all we have been through. Would I have thought of this differently? Would I have found these pictures morbid and "disturbing"? I guess I will never know how I would have viewed them. The only thing I know now is that there is another angel in Heaven and her parents have one tangible reminder that will help them through the coming days and weeks and help them to remember her in the coming years.

Here is the picture

It is beautiful and it makes me smile to think that is about the same size Emma was.

Here is a shot taken of Connor. So similar, such a wonderful reminder that he was really here. Somedays it is like you can almost feel the memories leaving and you need something to prove that they were here. This is the gift that NILMDTS has given us.


  1. Sarah, when I saw this article about the Duggars and the Now I Lay Me Down photographers, I immediately thought of you. I think this is a wonderful and beautiful thing for a family who has just experienced an unspeakable tragedy. Shame on the people who are judging them on how to grieve for their child!

  2. Well said Sarah. I thought the same thing when I heard some of the remarks people were making. I just thought "how DARE you judge how a woman, a family mourns and honors their lost child." We all pray we don't have to make the decision of how to mourn and honor the loss of our own child, but surely if we did, that memorial will be what we choose, and certainly none of the DAMN business of anyone else!

  3. I hate what people have said about them. These pics are priceless for families who have lost.