Happy 10th Peanut Pie!

It is so hard to believe that our peanut is 10 today! This amazing little human that we created is double digits. 

We could not have asked for a kinder, better mannered, sweeter, happier kid than our little one. She is the best friend, sister and daughter and is always thinking of others. 

She has a great imagination, a zest for life and an awesome infectious giggle. From the moment she was born she has been a ray of sunshine. She is our sunshine baby. Coming before the storms of loss - the gift that kept us going during the hardest moments. 

In the past year she has been through so much and done so much growing up. We are so excited to see the person she becomes. This girl has a heart of gold and makes us proud every single day. 

For her birthday she requested a slideshow and in that slideshow it was very important to her that I include pictures of her hospital stay and the song "fight song". So along with many others, these are a part of her life and her story, so a part of her slideshow. 

So many changes and milestones. Hard to imagine it has been 10 years since she made me a mom. 

Here is to the happiest birthday and an awesome year ahead! We love you Peanut!! 

http://youtu.be/1FOrILZ1DmM

Happy Birthday Sam...

It is hard to believe a year has passed since you came into our lives. You have brought absolute joy into our home and our hearts every single day since. Your infectious smile and your giggles and babbles make life even better. You are independent and smart and have no problem letting us know what you want. From the moment you were born I knew that you would be a force to be reckoned with, our little stink. You have wisdom in your eyes far beyond your year and surprise me daily with your expressions and actions. 

You are more than a baby, more than our daughter, you are a miracle. A perfect little mix of daddy and mommy with a slowly growing head of red. Your eyes are so blue they sparkle and your teeth are filling up your little mouth so quickly! 

When I think back to last year, to how scared I was for you to make your entrance. To how that fear vanished when I saw your face.  I am so thankful every minute of every day that God gave us you. I have enjoyed every second of watching you become this little person you have this year and I am so excited to see how much you change and grow as you are one. You are the piece of our puzzle that has healed our hearts and made us whole. We love you so much Sam Sammerson. Happy Birthday Baby Girl! 

Being the best Wy...

As I sat tonight and watched Wyatt breeze through his math homework, ever so often looking at me to smile with pride, it hit me.

I have heard of changes at school and have noticed these things at home, but this is the first time I saw him see the change within himself. As he gazed at me for approval I asked him- "Wy, does life feel a little easier now that you are on medicine?" He smiled and said "yes, it does feel easier". 

It has been 9 days since he started taking a low dose of medicine for ADD. Something I struggled with accepting and seeking medication for. (Please feel free to read my post about this -    http://cincinnati.citymomsblog.com/trial-error-prayer-coming-terms-adhd/ )     Fearing he would lose his sweetness and amazing personality. Fearing he would be a zombie or not himself. But, he is still the same awesome kid he was, just a whole lot more in control of himself. There are times as a parent we aren't sure of how best to help our children. I wasn't sure this was the answer, but seeing him succeed with such pride helps me know it is more than a step in the right direction. So thankful for his amazing team of teachers at school who love him and take such good care of him. For being honest and open and communicating their concerns and their praises. Thankful for my friends and their honesty about their own children's struggles. For the advice and listening ears. They say it takes a village to raise a child, so happy to be a part of the village we live in! 

A year of Rainbows....

It is hard to believe it has almost been a year since my little Rainbow was born.  I have read recently how this term "rainbow" can be hurtful to mom's who were unable to have another baby after loss.  I lost my first rainbow, Connor, and I understand that pain.  I also know that having hope and faith in God's plans for our lives has brought me to a place I never even dreamed of being in.  I don't use this term lightly, but with pride and thankfulness. 

"Rainbow Baby - The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."

 Sam is my rainbow.  I am proud of it and the poor girl will probably hate rainbows by the time she is old enough to have an opinion. But, until then, I am taking every opportunity to shower her in rainbows.  So thankful that my first lost rainbow brought me to Tricia ( Here is an earlier post about how important Tricia and Get the Picture Photography have been in our lives! ) and helped us form a friendship. 

Our baby girl has grown and changed so much over this year.  Such an amazing girl she has become! Funny, always smiling, babbling and working on walking.  A lover of all dogs and Mickey Mouse.  She knows what she wants and has determination and devotion! She brings joy to everyone around her and continues to be a blessing ~every second ~every minute ~ every day....


A year of our Rainbow....

Newborn

3 Months

6 months

6 months

9 Months

1 year

It is almost your Birthday Sam Sammerson~

We love you baby girl!

We are loving every second of discovering your little personality 

and we are so excited to see who you become!

Six years later

I was looking at the calendar and thinking back to the days Wy came home.  I realized that the dates and days match up exactly this year as in 2009. Wy came on an extended visit this day six years ago- Friday, November, 20, 2009. He went back for one night to his foster home and then came home for good on Monday the 23.

  Kind of surreal to think back on this day. I remember it vividly. The fear of the unknown, the happiness, the ten thousand questions going through my mind. Thinking of this little child who had no clue who we were or what we were doing with him. He was 18 months old. He was a baby. We were strangers to him. 

I think of how flawless he meshed into our family. How readily Anna accepted and loved him.

How open our family was to loving someone they had never met. He literally walked through the door and his life completely started over. He didn't have a choice in the matter, he didn't fuss or cry, he just started living. God had His hand in all of these things 

Sometimes I don't give Wy the benefit of the doubt enough.

I don't like to think about his past before us, because it was not a good place. I look at him now and I see this amazingly sweet kid who is so eager to please.

This funny, happy and always ornery boy. This silly and sensitive kid who has a thousand questions and so much to say.

 I sometimes forget where he has come from. I forget how far he has come. From the moment we met him making us smile and always keeping us on our toes. He has empathy deep within him and a sensitivity beyond his years. 

I see this when I see him with his baby sister. I can feel the love he has for her.

The way he tends to her and makes her smile. I pray that at some point he had that as a baby. I pray that someone held him when I wasn't there to. The truth is, he probably didn't. There are many things he didn't get in his first 14 months of life, most of which we will never know. But, I do know that every time he asks to snuggle- I will snuggle. If it makes him feel better to be in our bed to fall asleep, he will come in our bed.

If there are questions he has or answers he needs, I will try to help find them. As he gets older I will do all I can to help him make good choices. To know that no matter what he is a good boy and he is always loved.

That sometimes (well many times;) we yell and he will get in trouble, but that doesn't change how much we love him. We are just trying to help him to be the best Wy he can be. 

Six years ago today we brought this little boy into our home for the first time. Virtual strangers to a toddler who had known nothing but loss and change. We brought him into a home with hugs and kisses and an open pantry door. With apple juice and snuggling. Blankets and stuffed animals. Things he had never really known before. 

When you look back at where he has come from, the little man he has become today is an absolute miracle . Sometimes I forget that he wasn't always mine. Days like today are the perfect reminder of where his life has brought him and what an incredible little person he is now. 

Why we love American Girl...

Why do I like American Girl Dolls...

Wow- such a question. I get giddy with excitement just thinking of everything I want to say about these dolls! 

I should start by saying I am a 35 year old woman. A woman, who as a child, dreamed of having my own American Girl Doll. I had the catalogues and a select few friends who had them, back then they were not very common in my neighborhood. As my daughter reached about the age of 5 she discovered the catalogues. She studied them over and over. We would sit and talk about the pictures that covered the pages. The detail in each and every thing, the price not yet a concern of course, because we hadn't purchased anything. Four years later it is like a mini Christmas when the catalogue comes in the mail.

Her grandma bought her first doll for her the Christmas she was 5.

We ordered it through the beloved catalogue and receiving it was unparallel to any other gift.

She named her doll Wendy, after her favorite restaurant. Wendy has been so many places and loved beyond measure. After she got Wendy the catalogues meant even more. Finding her doll in the pages and set in the scenes that filled them.

Over the next few years we were so excited to get our very own American Girl Place only 2 hours away.

The first trip was with grandma and papa for a soon to be retired Molly and the next with her best friend, and Wendy of course, for lunch.

A third trip with her cousin and a fourth one planned for next week. 

There is nothing like the store. In my daughter's words it is the next best place to Disney World! Walking through the doors and seeing the catalogue come to life is such an experience. Being able to see each doll in "person" and each accessory and animal. Having personal shoppers, a cafe, a hair salon and more.

 As my daughter has grown and become an avid reader she has seen a whole new world of history open in the American Girl books and movies. She has spent countless hours imagining up so many amazing stories for her dolls to live out. 

She has learned about cultural differences and had history lessons she would never have known if it hadn't been for meeting these dolls and their stories. 

We have made crafts and used our imaginations to make everything for our dolls from coffee to movies.

They have become a part of our family. 

As a person who considers myself thrifty I admit there is a high cost to the dolls. But, the quality and durability of the dolls makes them well worth the money. We have bought the knockoff dolls and there really isn't any comparison.

If anything I consider them an investment for my daughter and whomever she decides to pass them on to when she grows up, my future granddaughters I hope! 

We have many at this point, 5 dolls and bitty twins. She plays with them and cares for them and knows their stories. 

The next one she buys she is saving for herself. She is learning even more to appreciate them because she has been saving for so long. 

To be quite honest these dolls just make me happy. They make my daughter happy.

They let me live a part of my childhood that I have always wanted and they have given my daughter and I something we both love to do together. 

She won't always be little and she won't always want me to play dolls with her. I will take these moment and soak them in for as long as I can. 

Blessed, beautiful girl...

Anna and I talk often. She is so far very open with me and I pray as she gets older our relationship stays this way. She often brings up and talks about the hospital. She remains very aware of the care she was given and the circumstances surrounding her stay. She remembers every little thing and likes to discuss it. We often talk about how we feel now compared to then and how things make us think of being there. Especially The Muppets Most wanted, which we watched over and over during her stay. 

Today she came home from school with her 4th grade pictures. I told her I loved them and asked her what she thought of them. She said "I love them, but I can't believe how good my eye looks. It is normal!"  I said of course it is! She then said- "the last time I had my picture taken in that dress was when I came home from the hospital. I can't believe how different I look. When I look in the mirror you can't even tell where my surgery was."

She is right. You can't. My beautiful girl has not even a scar from her surgery that was just over 6 months ago! Not a day goes by that I don't think of the miracles of medicine that were performed on my child that night in March. As we went back to see her in post op I remember the nurse saying that the stitch was a "plastic surgeon's stitch" and we wouldn't see where it was soon. I thought to myself, yeah right! But, she was right.

 Dr. Nerad not only took the infection from her body, but he did such amazing work that the physical evidence is gone. These gorgeous baby blues are as perfect as they ever were. Not a moment goes by that I am not thankful for the care that Anna was given.  Now as I see the joy she has because her eye "looks normal" to her I am even more thankful. I told her today she is probably the only 4th grader who had a plastic surgeon do her surgery. Blessed, beautiful girl....