Adoption-

Adoption is so many things- 

Adoption is about hope

hope in the future

hope in each other

hope for Forever

Adoption is about patience

patience in the process

patience in the system

 

patience in the child

patience in the parents

Adoption is about learning

learning to let go

learning to let God

learning to have faith in others

learning to have trust

learning that you are not in control

Adoption is about trust

trusting one another

trusting in God

trusting in His plan 

trusting in yourself

Adoption is about change

changes in your family

changes in your life

changes in your children

 

changes in your relationships

changes in yourself

Adoption is about Love

love of a child

love of God

love of Family

Adoption is about Faith

faith in people

faith in this world

Faith in God

Faith that it will all work out

Faith that if it doesn't, you will find answers

Adoption is a gift

 

Adoption creates families

Adoption creates siblings

Adoption is life changing

 Adoption is

Forever

Adoption from Foster Care brings new life to those already living

both families and children.  

On National Adoption Day we stop and say Thank You as Adoption continues to help create our family.

Happy Birthday Mikey...

Today my brother, Mikey, would be 37 years old.  I have spent endless hours over the past 30 years thinking about who he would be.  About the relationship we would have.  About whether or not I would be here at all.  I have pondered over his life and his death.  After 35 years it still doesn't make sense.  After 35 years we know it isn't worth trying to make sense of. 
 

 

I have written what I know of Mikey's story before.  The story of his death.  But, today is not about death.  Today is about his life.  Mikey was born on November 19, 1976.  He was a healthy baby boy.  With a sister who liked to make trouble.  To be honest I don't know a whole lot about the little person that he was in the almost 2 years he spent on this Earth.  I have to admit this is mostly because I have made up so many memories that the real ones I have been told have faded.  

 I know that he was happy, that his sister (not me!) once took him and his stroller and ran off in a store.  I know he liked to push his little car and play a game called pass the nuts.  I know he didn't speak much, except to say "quack".  This is one of the reasons I fed Anna's rubber ducky love as a baby and why there is a duck on Emma's headstone. 

 I know that he only celebrated one birthday on Earth and that by his second he had gone to be with the Lord.  I know that he was loved and that he is loved.  That he is missed everyday.  I know that he taught my parents more in his short life about unconditional love and that he has continued to teach me. 

 He has given me the gift of a mother that understood my pain.  Of a father who is a part of my life every day- of grandparents that never miss a moment to spend with their grandkids.  He has given us the gift of being cautious when it comes to illness and in turn saved his nephew. He has given us the gift of treasuring every single moment. Tantrums, Smiles and all. 

Today on his birthday I wish I could bring my Mom and Dad a little peace.  I wish I could take the pain away.  But I know now that with the pain, goes the memories.  One of the double edged swords of grief.  To take away the pain can take away the good as well. So I will pray for peace.  I will offer hugs. I will spend time with them and I will write in his memory.  If I have learned anything from loss over the past 5 years it is that just remembering - simply acknowledging is so important.

Today and everyday I remember Mikey.   

Happy Birthday in Heaven. We love you.


A  little more of Mikey's story can be found here -
http://emmandconnorpoems.blogspot.com/2011/09/labor-day-at-our-house.html?m=0

My "memories" of Mikey can be found here-
http://emmandconnorpoems.blogspot.com/2011/09/in-my-mind.html?m=0

Faith

Of all the things I won't try to understand Cancer is one of them. Childhood Cancer is one of my biggest fears and a thought that creeps in and out of my mind with every bump, bruise and fever. Keeping your faith through this horrible thing would take an immense amount of faith. Keeping your faith while dealing with it for 12 years takes enough faith that you become an inspiration to those around you. This morning I was able to sit with a teacher, a fighter, a beautiful girl who has been to Heaven and back. As she awaits her final trip home she is able to be with her family. Before I sat and read to her I told her about Emma and Connor. I told her that I knew what a wonderful teacher she is and what a wonderful mother she would have made. I asked her if when she got to Heaven she could find Emma and Connor. If she could hold them for me. I promised that I will be here to hold her mother when she needs it too. To see this young woman who has spent most of her life battling cancer. This young woman who has taught those around her, provided love and knowledge. This young woman who has been fighting and in pain, is peaceful. Watching her mother whose life is devoted to her children- besides a hug and a prayer what is there to do? 

There are many people out there who have faith. I consider myself one of them. I attend church. I say my prayers. I make sure my children are aware of God and Heaven. We pray as a family. We speak of God often - 1/3 of our family lives in Heaven- so of course this is a huge part of our life too. 

 After witnessing this mother and daughter today. Hearing her words through her mother's stories. Having heard firsthand before she was too sick to speak. If I ever need a reminder of what faith is. What trust in God is. What let go and let God means- this family will be my reminder. In the coming hours and days I pray that there is no physical pain and that the peace that passes understanding fills their home. 

Revelation 21:3-4 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Normal-

As a parent it is normal to brag about your children.
Celebrate their accomplishments.
Force people to look at their pictures and listen to your stories about them. 
It is expected and it is welcomed.
Losing a baby can change that-
Twenty years ago it was not normal to speak your lost baby's name
Most people didn't take pictures, much less share them.
There weren't blogs and foundations using their names and likenesses.
Things were not spoken of - these babies were not spoken of.
We are so blessed to live in this day in age.
In a time when we do speak of our babies. 

We mention them in passing. 

We tell stories about them.

Share pictures of them.

Help others to grieve and to love
because of them. 

We teach our children about them.

Letting them know they have a sibling-
a brother and a sister to love
who watch them from Heaven.

We make sure they are a part of every season, every holiday- everyday.

I have formed as many relationships because of my children that are not here
as I have from my children who are. 
I have found solace and friendship.
I have learned from my grief.
I am lucky enough to have my very own Angels. 

I am open enough to share them.
Today, on October 15, those of us who have experienced loss
come together. 
We remember our own babies
and we remember each others babies

We light candles and speak their names
We share their pictures and we tell their stories.
We will work together as grieving Moms and Dads.
We will make sure that this is "normal",
that just because our babies are not on this Earth 
does not mean that they are not here-
they are in our hearts, in our homes and in our families.

Trying to help our kids stay Highlander Strong...

In the past few months I have been given the opportunity to be a voice for parents in the district. Last week I was able to speak for a few minutes before the meet the candidates night held for our school board. 

Since I started this blog because of my children and I am a part of the levy committee because of my children, I thought I would share it here. 

My name is Sarah Caito. I am an alumni of the oak hills class of 1998. I am the daughter of an alumni of the class of 1969 and the daughter of an employee of the district for over 20 years. I am an advocate for my children therefore I am an advocate for the oak hills local school district. Nine months ago I was given the opportunity to be on a committee to help pass the levy which will be on the ballot on November 5. This opportunity has not only shown me so much about government and our district on an educational level- but more importantly it has shown me how much the faculty, teachers and administration really care about their "kids". 

I know standing here today I am in great company. Those who care about the district and want to see it succeed. This November we are asking for 

-A 4.82 mill operating levy that will cost a homeowner $14.06 per month on $100,000 of assessed property valuation. 

This past May was the first time Oak Hills has asked for a levy increase in 16 years.

Because the levy did not pass in May 2013, the district had to make $1.3 million in cuts in June affecting this school year. These cuts are in addition to the $3 million in cuts made in the 2012-13 school year.

If the levy does not pass in November this will mean another $2.9 million in cuts must be made including:

Eliminating 20 teaching positions at Oak Hills High School.

 Eliminating 24 teaching positions at our middle schools.

Increasing pay to participate fees by $75 per student, per sport with no family cap.

Eliminating 1 administrator at the high school.

Eliminating 1 school psychology assistant.

Cleaning classrooms less frequently.

Increasing class sizes at elementary, middle school and high school levels.

I am here today because I am going to vote yes. I will vote yes for my daughter- I will vote yes for my son. I will vote yes for the kids who are taking college courses in our high school and the kids who receive early intervention before kindergarten. I will vote yes because I want the 8,200  kids in the district who are receiving an amazing education to continue receiving the services they do. Please take the time to vote on November 5 and Vote yes for Oak Hills.